Archive for April 9, 2008

guys in all forms

Ok, so if you dont remember me going off about Mickey i would go back and read the post called stupid guys. well my feelings towards mickey has changed, i mean i never hated him, i hated that he made me feel like just another girl up on his list of things to do. ” oops, well i gotta mark that one off”. Well we have started talk again, and it makes me feel bad that i said that he was the bad kind of guy, what i should have said is that its bad to have a long distance relationship with someone who you might never see, and well i think that kinda added on to the pressure. anyway… We’ve been talking and well he makes me feel special, i think that even if , and i doubt this at the moment, i am just another girl or thing to mark off on his list that im just gonna go with the flow, i mean, if stuff happens then it happens, im gonna try and be ok with anything. well i fall into the category of girls that can’t make up their minds. oh well. 

He made me feel awsome when he told me that he thought about me all the time, and that he had missed talking to me. It made me feel bad because i had been ignoring him. But i found out that he wrote a song about me, and also that i’m his background on his computer, lol i made him change the picture, the one he had made me look eightish, lol. Omg he makes me wanna be with him, he says stuff that just makes me want to go down there to college, lol and that would be a big change considering that i dont like heat, and its close to the equator. lol, heat city. i would die. but i think i would seriously go down there for him.  if he asked me i would do almost anything for him. and i know that sounds kinda silly but i honestly have never felt this way for anyguy.

ok well on to the update of two guys at once. Well Bilal is having trouble with his college decission, and its really stressing him out, and we havnt talking in a few days, it kinda scares me, that maybe its something i said. But maybe he has to make this decission on his own, i just wish i could help. I also havnt talked to Jeffery in a while ever since i told him about my mom drinking and then her decission to give it up, he really helped me through that. I miss talking to him, even if it was just as a friend.

Ok so there is this guy at my school who invited me to a party and then said that if i came i needed to make sure that i had enough condoms to out last him, i was just kinda appauled. I mean he is one of my friends. then he had the nerve to say that i was cute, and nice, had a great voice but he wouldnt want a relationship with me he would just want to fuck me. Him and almost every guy made my day even worse. then i came home and started talking to mickey and he made everything else better. it just kinda helped. He said that he would be on all night but he wasnt, it was kinda hard to have a convo with him but oh well. when i did talk to him he made it all better. Oh well. well i think this is a long enough post, so i guess until something else happens im gonna go.

 

Until next time, besafe.

Becka Elyse

Moving part III

Well its been a while since i’ve written, and im sorry, not that anyone pays attention to it, but hey thats ok. So there is a new development, my cousin, her 40 yr old bf, and my aunt are all moving out in three weeks. Yay!!!! Ok now to me, I should know where im moving with in a month, wether it be to alaska, colorado, or washington. Well i dont want to move to colorado, because i dont want to be land locked. ok well ive been slowly packing becuase my family says that no matter what we are moving with in a year. sometimes i doubt them but hey its my family, some of what they tell me has to be true, right?

I have a fear of moving because i dont want to start a relationship and then have to end it because im moving, that would just hurt to much and be wrong to the guy. and i cant be that mean.  I also think im scared of change, but i dont know why. i mean i cant stay in one place for to long, or i feel caged, and then i start to panic. Do you think that a new state would help me not feel caged as much, i mean it will be some place new and totally diffrent. Did you know there is this place in alaska that has the same temp. and weather as Kentucky, its called Catchacan, but i dont know how to really spell it, is is about as good as i can do. Oh well.  well this is is right now, im gonna go write about the guys in my life, there has been an interesting development, and some troubling ones as well. 

 

well until later thanks for reading and be safe.

Becka Elyse